Fruit love–and why it gives me freedom

A far-reaching motivation

When I think of fruit, something happens in my body… 

After all these years of largely avoiding it on advice, I still sometimes can’t believe my luck today. It’s as if the world is suddenly at my feet with nothing but freedom in my luggage!

A normal morning

Today, I sat down on the balcony to write. There is a strong wind blowing, and I can hear snippets of conversation from other balconies. Overall, however, it is very quiet and sunny today. The tomato leaf of the largest and most beautiful tomato plant yet tickles my foot, which I have placed on the chair. It has really grown so beautifully, perhaps because it got the largest pot here.

It’s still morning and so far I’ve eaten a banana right after my celery juice, made myself a turmeric-ginger-garlic-shot with an orange, and eaten a large plate full of melon pieces, which will keep me satiated until I make my actual breakfast smoothie, the legendary HMDS!

When I think of fruit, something happens in my body. 

My heart expands, and I see all the colors and shapes in front of me. A feeling of excitement spreads through me, like anticipation for the next piece of fruit that is about to arrive.

The joy I feel feels very childlike. I am in touch with the little Sabine inside me, who is cheerful and exuberant about what we have agreed on. Like my little nephew after announcing that there will be cake to celebrate the day and now asking every 15 minutes, “Is the cake finally here?” … “Is the cake finally here?” …

That’s how it feels. She tugs at my clothes and asks, “What’s next? Are the nectarines finally ready so we can try the cucumber salad? Didn’t you say you wanted to buy a mango and a papaya again? Luckily, you picked up that huge watermelon yesterday.”

Natural desires

I truly feel that this is my body’s normal, natural desire. It craves glucose as fuel, and fortunately Mother Nature has provided us with this in all its splendor and abundance, as only she can. Unfortunately, it has been knocked off its throne by Kinder bars, Snickers, and Prinzenrolle cookies, so that it is no longer Mother Nature who reigns, but—let’s say—the “industry.” 

Tragic. Otherwise, people’s heads wouldn’t be constantly filled with all these substitute sweets—but with all the fruits!

„It’s for good reason that the Bible mentions fruit over 300 times: because fruit is vital to the essence of who we are. Humankind exists because of the fruit we picked off trees since our species’ beginning. It is what has allowed us to thrive on this planet.“

-Anthony William ¹

A far-reaching motivation

Slowly, I feel the glucose from the watermelon reaching its destination. My body longs for the next portion.

Halfway through my breakfast smoothie, made today with three bananas because they are slowly becoming overripe and need to be used up, I feel energized again to continue writing.

There are several profound reasons for my love of fruit—and one of them is:

I no longer crave industrial sweets!

Simply freedom.

No longer craving industrial sweets gives me an immense feeling of freedom. Being able to eat as much fruit as I want, as often as I want, leaves so many of the more difficult emotions, such as guilt and shame, behind. No more restrictions; I don’t have to restrain, discipline, or reprimand myself when it comes to sugar consumption. In my earlier days as a teacher, there was always a large selection of sweets on the table in the staff room, and once I gave in, usually in moments of stress, and reached for one, the dam was broken, the floodgates open for the next and the next. The days of “… just three pieces of dark chocolate” in the hope that it’s true that the higher the cocoa content, the “healthier” it is, and I pretended to enjoy it…  are fortunately over.

Just peace.

After drinking my smoothie, it leaves me feeling full, peaceful, and cozy. It has a very grounding effect. No more frantic, guilt-ridden reaching for the next “sinful” bite.

It’s crazy. No cream cake can compete with a ripe mango, cherries, or a creamy “caramel-like” date. No seemingly uncontrollable urge drives me to do something that makes me want to slap my own hand and leaves me feeling dissatisfied. 

Instead, I am given a glimpse behind the scenes. A curtain opens. I see and perceive things with different eyes.

So it happened once that, after a long period without industrial baked goods, I suddenly found myself completely perplexed in front of one of the large bakery counters that are often located in front of the actual entrance and in front of the fruit section. I saw all these sweet pastries, almost identical in shape and color, lined up on the shelves and displays, and perceived what I felt was a false radiance emanating from them. Pastries that appeared puffed up and shiny in front of me, designed to entice me to buy them.

So I saw them there, without judgment, for what they are—a deceptive substitute!

Simply love.

In a paragraph about the difference between disciplined writing and writing out of childlike joy, author Julia Cameron writes:

“… I make my desk the most inviting place in my house. There are toys on the table. […] And when I write, I become a child again.”

When I read that earlier, I thought of the feeling I described at the beginning of this post… What happens when I think of fruit… and the childlike joy that wells up inside me.

Not that discipline doesn’t have its place, not at all. If we want to change something for the better, we need it at certain points in the process. But perhaps it shouldn’t be the absolute driving force behind everything. Not behind writing and not behind the fruit love – otherwise I would have to give it a completely different name.

“If you look at love as a piece of fruit, compassion is its core. Same goes for self-love. You can’t have that without self-compassion or it can easily switch to self-hatred.“

-Anthony William²

1. 
   William, Anthony. Medical Medium Revised and Expanded Edition: Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal (English Edition) (S.262). Hay House. Kindle-Version.  ↩︎
2. https://soundcloud.com/medicalmedium/healing-power-of-compassion ↩︎